Experience

“Once in a while it really hits people that they don’t have to experience the world in the way they have been told to.”

—

Alan Keightley

This is something that I have been trying to apply to my life for a while (in regards to the above quote, that is). I am extremely self-conscious, and have anxiety about everything, so this is hard for me to grasp. Even today at our northern star photo meeting my editor said I looked stressed and made me do jumping jacks in front of everyone (If you're introverted like I am, you should be able to tell how embarrassed I was, haha.) Anyways, it's really hard to accept the fact that you can live your life any way that you want when there seems like so many things that need to be done, and that can seemingly only be done in a certain way: Hold shitty jobs so you can make your way through college, make friends while also working hard on your assignments, go out and party to live the college lifestyle...and I don't know if I exactly fit this normal college kid mold.

And the thing is, I don't know if I want to. I will be the first to admit, I am not much of a party person at all.  I don't like to drink (I just hate the taste of alcohol), and I tend to be pretty socially awkward around people I don't know (I should probably go to counseling or something, but that's for another blog post, haha.) This doesn't help the fact that Skylar's band plays at house parties every few weeks, and I always like to go to their shows, so I tag along to the party, thinking that I may get over my anxieties. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. I don't know.

Sorry about this rant. I am just so stressed out and kind of pouring out random thoughts incoherently. You have no idea how ready I am for winter break. I just have to get through these last two weeks of work, photo assignments, and homework, and get through finals week, and I will be free! If you guys have any good ways of dealing with stress and anxiety, please let me know, I am in need of some!

 Well in other news, I cut my hair again (because I was starting to look like art Garfunkel/an 80s soccer mom) and now I have arrived back to my natural hair color! It's kind of crazy, because I've been dying my hair for so long, I don't think I've had my natural color since I was a freshman in high school (over 5 years ago!) This is actually the first time Skylar has even seen what my hair color looks like for real. Crazy!

Okay, I'm done rambling now. But seriously, if you have any special ways of calming your anxiety, I would love to hear them. Well, I am off to attempt to work on some homework and organize my schedule for the next few weeks.

Hope you all had a happy hump day :)