2016 Goals

Happy 2016 everyone! I know I'm already a little late hopping on the 'new years resolution' train, as January is basically already halfway over (whaaa?). It's crazy how much time flies- 2015 was basically over in the blink of an eye, which I was actually totally OK with because 2015 was super shitty, to be completely honest. I struggled with depression and anxiety the majority of the year, which left me completely unmotivated and uninspired.

With that being said, I made a list of goals for 2016 that would hopefully steer me back towards being my creative, uninhibited self. I know it will be a struggle- my mental illness isn't going to just disappear because it's a new year- but I'm under some great treatment and I think I'll be able to cope much better.

2016 Goals!

This is the first on the list and one of the most important to me- I feel like my being is so tied to photography and speaking through photographs that when I slack on taking photos, I don't even feel like myself. I think I'm slowly starting to get back into it- I've been working on a photo series based on mental illness (I'm waiting to share it here until it's totally done), and I've already ventured outside with my camera a few times this year. Plus, I got an amazing new lens for Christmas that has me dying to try it out some more. And (as you can see in the photo), Skylar bought me an Instax Mini that I can't wait to use!

One of the things I really want to cut back on is social media. I'm not cutting it out at all- I actually want to use social media more, but I want to cut back my time mindlessly scrolling through facebook or instagram when I have way more productive things I could be doing. I have this habit of opening up facebook and spending hours just scrolling through my feed, even though I honestly don't care about most of the stuff I'm reading.

I absolutely let this blog go in 2015, and it's one of my biggest regrets. But now's the best time to get back into the swing of things, right? I actually have so many ideas for content, the biggest hurdle is getting the motivation together to make a great post. I think what's been holding me back the most is doubt- I will think of an idea or start working on something, and start to think "Man, this isn't good enough. No one will look at this, or even care about it." Obviously, that's toxic thinking. Plus, if I don't even try, then obviously I will get no where. I just need to push through!

I will be the first to admit that I am probably one of the worst cooks on the planet. And honestly, I don't even like cooking that much. I love eating, but usually I would much rather just go to a restaurant and have them cook me something delicious than to actually do it myself. But I guess I'm basically an "adult" now and cooking from scratch is something I really need to learn. I want to save money on food and start eating healthier, so cooking my own food will definitely help. Plus, I feel bad making Skylar always cook for us, haha!

Something I've discussed here and there is my new-found love of yoga. I love that yoga can be so many different things- I love using it to relax and meditate before bed, or as an invigorating workout in the middle of the day. Plus, as a dancer, I am always in need of something to keep my strength and flexibility up when I'm not in class, and yoga as proven to be the perfect thing.

Something that's been on my "to-do" list for years now is getting my photography business up and running for good. One of my big life dreams is to work from home on my own business, and I think that if I really work hard, I can get my little portrait business off the ground. Last year I was able to get some experience on different types of shoots- I worked with a 4-month old for the first time last summer, and I even shot my first wedding! Once the weather gets a little nicer, I can't wait to start doing some more shoots.

This is also something I've had on my list for ages, and that is to get (at least one) tattoo! I think the reason that I haven't got one yet is the fact that every tattoo idea that I would like to get done would cost more than what I could pay at the time. But I ended up getting a $300 gift certificate to an awesome tattoo shop for Christmas, so now I have no excuse! I already have what I want planned, now I just need to make the appointment!

When I get into a depressive episode, one of the first things that go out the window is my desire to create. Not only do I end up feeling overwhelmed at the possibilities, I usually end up feeling like whatever I create just isn't good enough. But I want to start creating just for me- to create as therapy rather than to ultimately show anyone. I want to start working more on my wreck this journal and making more DIY projects.

This goal should fully read "find happiness in the little things." When I get anxious or start having an anxiety attack, there are times where I feel like everything is horrible and I just can't stop focusing on what's making me anxious. I really want to try and start focusing on the happy moments- no matter how small. If I'm having a horrible day at work, for example, cracking a few jokes with a co-worker can instantly brighten my day. I just need to remember to focus on those little interactions instead.

And finally, I don't want to let my mental illness become an excuse or define me as a person. I allowed that to happen a lot in 2015, if you couldn't tell from reading this whole post. I know I'll be dealing with mental illness my whole life, and while I do want to talk about it more on this blog and "shed light" on my struggles if you will, I want to stop letting my anxiety define my actions. I know this will be hard, and it will require me to step out of my comfort zone on a lot of things, but I know that's what's necessary for recovery.

If you were able to read that whole ramble-y post, then bravo! I am excited for 2016 and what it will bring. I think it will definitely be a year of growth and change for sure. Wish me luck!

♥

June Goals

Wow, can you believe it's June already? I feel like I blinked and it was suddenly summer! I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but with starting a new part-time job, I've been enjoying spending my free time relaxing. But I want to get back into it, so why not share some other goals I have for June, right?

♥ Blog at least once a week. Although I want to try to post more, I am giving myself the reasonable goal of 1 post per week. I'm not entirely back into the swing of blogging and queuing posts yet, so I think this is pretty attainable for where I'm at now.

♥ Continue practicing yoga at least 3 times a week. I haven't been talking about it much, but I have basically fallen in love with yoga. I had always been interested in it, but never fully got into it. I also don't talk about my ballet much, but I took the beginning of the year off from my dance training and needed something to keep myself in shape, and yoga was the perfect thing. I will probably do another post about this, because I could talk about it forever! Anyway, I want to practice at least 3 times a week in June.

♥ Spend more time outside exploring! It's basically way to nice outside to not enjoy it! This month, I really want to explore my city and go to all the parks, cool places, and events I can find.

♥ Capture more photos. I haven't been taking pictures much this year, and I have been trying really hard to get back into it. Really, I want to buy a small case for my camera so I can just stick it in my purse wherever I go- I want to capture more of my daily life!

♥ Start going through old clothes/stuff. I'm moving in with Skylar and a few friends in August (and I am soooo excited!). Although the apartment is a total upgrade from where I'm at now, Skylar and I will be sharing a bedroom that's about the same size as the one I have to myself now. So that means I have tons of stuff I need to get rid of- but I'm totally embracing it! I think it's going to be so refreshing to get rid of all the stuff I don't use anymore that's just sitting in my closet or in drawers.

Those are the main things I want to focus on in June. Do you have any goals for this month, or for the summer?

September Goals

Wow, I honestly can't believe it's already the second week of September! Well, considering the fact that I'm blogging about my September goals 11 days into September, you can tell I've been a little behind, haha!

• Get my finances in order. You know how much money I have in my bank account right now? Five dollars. For the rest of the week. I just got a new job at a seasonal halloween store (which I am really excited about!) in addition to my other job, so that will definitely help in the finances department. I also would like to set up a monthly budget. Anyone have any tips or resources for that sort of thing?
• Balance my schedule. My schedule is absolutely crazy this semester. I'm juggling my classes, marching band, dance rehearsals, homework, and two jobs. That basically leaves me little to no time for anything else. I've actually been pretty good at scheduling myself so I don't burn out, but I need to keep it that way!
• Create a blogging schedule. Because of my crazy schedule, I've kind of let this blog fall to the back burner, unfortunately. Ultimately, I need to schedule more posts in advance, and create a blogging schedule! I have a planner specifically for the blog, but I haven't actually used it in a few months. Oops! I'll definitely be getting on that this month.
• Find cute active-wear. Due to being cast in both fall productions in my college's dance department, I'm in dance class and rehearsal a lot. Like, every day. And that means I'm often in a leotard and tights. That being said, I really want to find some cute & comfy active-wear that I can wear in rehearsal, but also not look like a sweaty slob if I have to go to class in it afterwords. What are your favorite places for cute and affordable (see top bullet point, haha) active-wear?

I'm not including any 'fall' activities in this list, because I'm sure I could come up with a whole second post about that (which I actually have scheduled for next week)!

What are your goals for September?

November Goals

Okay, so I know i'm not the only one that thought October lasted about 0.5 seconds. And now there's Christmas stuff all over the stores. What happened to 2013? Well anyway, I've been a huge ball of stress the past few months, so I thought I'd make a few goals for November to get me back on track :)

1. Eat more fruits and veggies. Being a commuter and spending almost 9 hours on campus every day is definitely hard when you're trying to eat healthy. There were days where I would get fast food every day, usually for convenience (or if I forgot to pack a lunch!). I'm sure you can tell how that went (here's a hint: my scale didn't like it too much.) Therefore, I definitely need to start eating healthier. I know if I get more nutrients in my diet, I'll feel so much better.
2. Drink lots of water. Along those same lines, I want to drink lots more water! I'll need to invest in a re-usable water bottle.
3. Update my wardrobe. I've mentioned this a few times, but I've felt a little lost in the style department. Every time I look into my closet, nothing excites me. I just did a major donate-haul and that left my closet pretty bare, so I want to re-stock it with some classic, timeless pieces. 
4. Chill the f*ck out. 9/10 times, nothing is ever as bad as I expect them to be. There is absolutely no reason for me to stress about almost all of the things I do. I'm gonna try and put things in perspective more often!

How about you guys, do you have any goals for November?

Happy Spring!

Spring is finally here! Well, it sure doesn't feel like it, but if the calendar says so, I say "mother nature, get your ass into gear!" And what better time than Spring to make some goals and get motivated? Here's a little list of spring goals I want to accomplish.

• Plant some seeds (and don't let them die!). I always love having live plants around the house, but I will admit, I am terrible at keeping them alive. I don't know what I will do if I ever have children. 
• Start doing more artistic photography. I did a lot of artistic photography in high school, it's one of the main things I was known for. I would love to get back into that, in addition to my regular blogging photos!

 

•  Start jogging outdoors. I love jogging outside rather than in the gym on a treadmill. 
• Take more pictures of daily life. This also includes carrying my camera with me more! I love looking back through old photos and remembering the little things I would have otherwise forgotten.

• Put more effort into getting dressed. I love leaving the house feeling confident and cute. Whenever I'm feeling tired, I just throw on a t-shirt and jeans, which is okay sometimes, but I also like feeling a little put together! That doesn't mean I have to dress up every day, I just want to wear something that makes me feel good :)
• Have more fun! I'm probably the most stressed person alive, and I just want to actively try and be in a better mood more often. I want to enjoy life!

 

I'm hoping spring will hurry itself up so I am a little more motivated to put these goals into action! 

Have a lovely Tuesday :)

*All images in this post are ©Brooke Gehringer. You can find more here.

19 Before 20: Halfway there!

 

So I just realized that my half birthday is coming up within the next week (my birthday is in July), so I thought I would revisit my 19 before 20 list and see how I've been doing! I definitely have to say that life got in the way of a lot of these, and yeah I know that is a pretty shitty excuse. Well anyways, here's how I've been doing :)

1. Get a tattoo:  Not yet, but I am dyyyyying to get one. I've got the tattoo fever! The only reason that I haven't yet is simply due to my lack of funds, but I've been saving lately so maybe within the next few months or so :)
2. Make more friends: Well, I've been working on it! I've been trying to do more things that ordinarily scare me, like go to friend's parties and talk to more people in my classes. I still have a long way to go, but I think I'm taking steps in the right direction.
3. Start a vintage resale business: This is something that just didn't work out, and I don't think it will for another few years. Being a college student with two jobs, I can hardly even run this blog!
4. Blog more often: And on that note, I think I've been blogging more? I feel a lot more confident in my posts and content, and I've even been planning in advance!
5. Start cooking more: Well, this one hasn't been too great. I will admit, I freakin hate cooking. I love food, but hate to make it, haha. Maybe I'll work on baking more!
6. Get my GPA above 3.5: So close! After last semester, I'm at a 3.4 right now. Hopefully after this semester I can get that up!
7. Take more pictures: Sadly, I have been lacking in this department. I seriously need to step up my picture taking game!
8. Ride my bike more: I've been lacking in this one too. I think I only rode my new bike once during the fall. I'm hoping when it gets nicer out I will be motivated to take it for a spin!
9. Be better with my finances: This was also one of my main new years resolutions, and in the past month I think I've been a lot better! I'm saving way more, and trying not to impulsively spend as much. I'm trying to save for a road trip to california this summer so I hope I can do it!
10. Get more involved at NIU: I think I'm doing pretty well at this one! I have two jobs on campus, and just auditioned for the NIU dance show (I didn't get in...haha oh well.) And I'm going to start going to the gym's fitness classes!
11. Read more books: Just recently I've started reading more. I'm currently reading a book called Breathe (it's kind of a teen read), and I've been really into it. 
12. Do another musical: Well, I did audition and get into a local production of Jesus Christ Superstar, but my work schedule didn't work out at all with the rehearsal schedule, so I had to drop out. I'm not too upset about this, though.
13. Stop worrying: Well, this is going to be a life-long process. I'm trying to work on my breathing!
14. Find a job I love: Kind of! I love working at my different places on campus!
15. Take more chances: I think I'm doing pretty good with this one! The fact that I even auditioned for that dance show (where most of the people who were auditioning were dance majors) was pretty scary. It was actually a lot of fun though, even though I didn't make it in!
16. Stretch more & become more flexible: I haven't really been proactively doing this, but since I decided to take another ballet class this semester, it's kind of coming along!
17. Try to be nicer to everyone: Working on it!
18. Stay inspired: It's been hard lately, since I've had a slight case of the winter blues. I guess I just need to work harder at finding inspiration everywhere!
19. Live in the moment: I'm trying so hard at this one! I think I've been doing pretty well.

I think i've been doing pretty good! Making this post has helped remind me of these goals so I may start working harder on them!

Happy Monday!

♥Brooke

November goals

I just realized that the last like, 3 posts have all been lists of some sort, but thats okay. I've decided that I need to be a little more disciplined with myself. So I've come up with a list of short-term goals that I will (hopefully!) be able to stick to.

1. Go to the gym at least 2 times a week.  I'll be honest, I've never been 100% happy with my body. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for loving your body no matter what, but I can tell that I've been eating unhealthy lately, and that I get out of breath easily. And I want to get stronger- I would love to get my arabesque past 90 degrees in ballet class! I still love my curves- I just want to be healthier! And I think 2x a week at the gym isn't too demanding.

2. Try a new recipe at least once a week. I will be the first to say that I am the worst at cooking. I think it's time to change that! At least, to where I am at least okay at cooking. Plus, I have a whole pinterest board of recipes that I've never tried! I feel like I need to change that.

3. Clean out my closet. My closet in my apartment is so small, it's actually smaller than the closet was in my dorm room! And that made me realize that I don't actually wear a lot of the clothing I have. I want to purge my closet to make room for things I will actually wear often. And I need to work on investing in good-quality pieces that will last a long time and that I will wear forever.

4. Decorate for the Holidays. I've been insanely slacking on decorating lately. I didn't even decorate for Halloween! So I am determined to make my apartment (or at least my room) festive for the rest of fall, and especially Christmas! You will soon learn that I loveee Christmas.

5. Worry less! I have a problem with anxiety about things in the past. Even small things that happen that make me upset, can affect me for the rest of the day. For example, the other day in Ballet, I was having trouble with a combination across the floor. And it made me feel anxious. What if my teacher thought I was dumb? What if the rest of the dancers in my class thought I was horrible? And this anxiety stayed with me for the rest of the day. I wasn't worrying about ballet class though, I was just getting more anxious about other things that would come up. I just need to learn to let go of worry right when it happens. Hopefully I can find some ways to do that!

Do you guys ever make any seasonal goals?

19 Before 20

I've decided to make a 19 before 20 list, which is essentially 19 things I want to accomplish before I turn 20. I made the list on my birthday, but didn't get around to sharing it until now. The thing about me is, I absolutely love lists. Making lists makes me feel so productive and inspired. But the thing is, I usually don't get even half the stuff on my lists done, haha. I make To-Do lists all the time, and I'm lucky if I get one or two things done on it. Ah, well.

Well anyways, here's the list:

 

Wish me luck!