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2016 Goals

Happy 2016 everyone! I know I'm already a little late hopping on the 'new years resolution' train, as January is basically already halfway over (whaaa?). It's crazy how much time flies- 2015 was basically over in the blink of an eye, which I was actually totally OK with because 2015 was super shitty, to be completely honest. I struggled with depression and anxiety the majority of the year, which left me completely unmotivated and uninspired.

With that being said, I made a list of goals for 2016 that would hopefully steer me back towards being my creative, uninhibited self. I know it will be a struggle- my mental illness isn't going to just disappear because it's a new year- but I'm under some great treatment and I think I'll be able to cope much better.

2016 Goals!

This is the first on the list and one of the most important to me- I feel like my being is so tied to photography and speaking through photographs that when I slack on taking photos, I don't even feel like myself. I think I'm slowly starting to get back into it- I've been working on a photo series based on mental illness (I'm waiting to share it here until it's totally done), and I've already ventured outside with my camera a few times this year. Plus, I got an amazing new lens for Christmas that has me dying to try it out some more. And (as you can see in the photo), Skylar bought me an Instax Mini that I can't wait to use!

One of the things I really want to cut back on is social media. I'm not cutting it out at all- I actually want to use social media more, but I want to cut back my time mindlessly scrolling through facebook or instagram when I have way more productive things I could be doing. I have this habit of opening up facebook and spending hours just scrolling through my feed, even though I honestly don't care about most of the stuff I'm reading.

I absolutely let this blog go in 2015, and it's one of my biggest regrets. But now's the best time to get back into the swing of things, right? I actually have so many ideas for content, the biggest hurdle is getting the motivation together to make a great post. I think what's been holding me back the most is doubt- I will think of an idea or start working on something, and start to think "Man, this isn't good enough. No one will look at this, or even care about it." Obviously, that's toxic thinking. Plus, if I don't even try, then obviously I will get no where. I just need to push through!

I will be the first to admit that I am probably one of the worst cooks on the planet. And honestly, I don't even like cooking that much. I love eating, but usually I would much rather just go to a restaurant and have them cook me something delicious than to actually do it myself. But I guess I'm basically an "adult" now and cooking from scratch is something I really need to learn. I want to save money on food and start eating healthier, so cooking my own food will definitely help. Plus, I feel bad making Skylar always cook for us, haha!

Something I've discussed here and there is my new-found love of yoga. I love that yoga can be so many different things- I love using it to relax and meditate before bed, or as an invigorating workout in the middle of the day. Plus, as a dancer, I am always in need of something to keep my strength and flexibility up when I'm not in class, and yoga as proven to be the perfect thing.

Something that's been on my "to-do" list for years now is getting my photography business up and running for good. One of my big life dreams is to work from home on my own business, and I think that if I really work hard, I can get my little portrait business off the ground. Last year I was able to get some experience on different types of shoots- I worked with a 4-month old for the first time last summer, and I even shot my first wedding! Once the weather gets a little nicer, I can't wait to start doing some more shoots.

This is also something I've had on my list for ages, and that is to get (at least one) tattoo! I think the reason that I haven't got one yet is the fact that every tattoo idea that I would like to get done would cost more than what I could pay at the time. But I ended up getting a $300 gift certificate to an awesome tattoo shop for Christmas, so now I have no excuse! I already have what I want planned, now I just need to make the appointment!

When I get into a depressive episode, one of the first things that go out the window is my desire to create. Not only do I end up feeling overwhelmed at the possibilities, I usually end up feeling like whatever I create just isn't good enough. But I want to start creating just for me- to create as therapy rather than to ultimately show anyone. I want to start working more on my wreck this journal and making more DIY projects.

This goal should fully read "find happiness in the little things." When I get anxious or start having an anxiety attack, there are times where I feel like everything is horrible and I just can't stop focusing on what's making me anxious. I really want to try and start focusing on the happy moments- no matter how small. If I'm having a horrible day at work, for example, cracking a few jokes with a co-worker can instantly brighten my day. I just need to remember to focus on those little interactions instead.

And finally, I don't want to let my mental illness become an excuse or define me as a person. I allowed that to happen a lot in 2015, if you couldn't tell from reading this whole post. I know I'll be dealing with mental illness my whole life, and while I do want to talk about it more on this blog and "shed light" on my struggles if you will, I want to stop letting my anxiety define my actions. I know this will be hard, and it will require me to step out of my comfort zone on a lot of things, but I know that's what's necessary for recovery.

If you were able to read that whole ramble-y post, then bravo! I am excited for 2016 and what it will bring. I think it will definitely be a year of growth and change for sure. Wish me luck!

♥

June Goals

Wow, can you believe it's June already? I feel like I blinked and it was suddenly summer! I know I haven't been blogging much lately, but with starting a new part-time job, I've been enjoying spending my free time relaxing. But I want to get back into it, so why not share some other goals I have for June, right?

♥ Blog at least once a week. Although I want to try to post more, I am giving myself the reasonable goal of 1 post per week. I'm not entirely back into the swing of blogging and queuing posts yet, so I think this is pretty attainable for where I'm at now.

♥ Continue practicing yoga at least 3 times a week. I haven't been talking about it much, but I have basically fallen in love with yoga. I had always been interested in it, but never fully got into it. I also don't talk about my ballet much, but I took the beginning of the year off from my dance training and needed something to keep myself in shape, and yoga was the perfect thing. I will probably do another post about this, because I could talk about it forever! Anyway, I want to practice at least 3 times a week in June.

♥ Spend more time outside exploring! It's basically way to nice outside to not enjoy it! This month, I really want to explore my city and go to all the parks, cool places, and events I can find.

♥ Capture more photos. I haven't been taking pictures much this year, and I have been trying really hard to get back into it. Really, I want to buy a small case for my camera so I can just stick it in my purse wherever I go- I want to capture more of my daily life!

♥ Start going through old clothes/stuff. I'm moving in with Skylar and a few friends in August (and I am soooo excited!). Although the apartment is a total upgrade from where I'm at now, Skylar and I will be sharing a bedroom that's about the same size as the one I have to myself now. So that means I have tons of stuff I need to get rid of- but I'm totally embracing it! I think it's going to be so refreshing to get rid of all the stuff I don't use anymore that's just sitting in my closet or in drawers.

Those are the main things I want to focus on in June. Do you have any goals for this month, or for the summer?

Breaking out of a Rut: 10 Things to Make You Feel Better

Happy Monday, guys! So, today I'm gonna get a little real. The past few months have been very rough for me. After what seems like years, I regressed into an extreme state of anxiety and depression. I found myself dreading getting up in the morning, and neglecting the things that I loved most (this blog included!). Over the last few weeks, I have finally started to feel a little more like myself. Here are some of the things that have helped me find peace- I hope they help you too!

1. Listen to your body.

The worst thing you can do is ignore your body's warning signs of stress, anxiety, or depression. This can be the most difficult thing to overcome (it was for me at least), because of the self-destructive nature of stress and anxiety. Here's how it started for me: anxiety slowly started to creep into parts of my day, but I just ignored it. I thought if I just kept focusing on school, friends, and work, that my anxiety might just go away on its own. I was wrong. I had let my anxiety build up so much, that I started feeling sick to my stomach almost every day. I became overwhelmed, and sank deeper into depression. I didn't want to get out of bed, go to class, or even take my anxiety medication (which lead to many emotional breakdowns). The main thing is, if your body is giving you these signals- something is wrong!

2. Find a hobby or creative outlet.

It can be so tempting to lay in bed and binge watch Netflix whenever I am feeling down, but that usually only makes me feel worse about myself. I know that depression can make you feel like you can't do anything, even the activities you used to love. But I find that focusing my (usually negative) energy into something can do wonders for my mood. I just purchased a Wreck This Journal (which I'll actually be posting about soon!), which suprisingly has done wonders for my anxiety. Something like drawing, painting, coloring, or just journaling can be perfect, because your mind is focused on that task instead of your worries. Plus, something about creating just boots my mood!

3. Get moving.

I know it's hammered into everyone's head that exercise makes you feel better, and when you're feeling down it's usually the last thing you want to do. I get it. But every time I do something as simple as some light stretches, I feel soooo much better. Of course, whatever kind of exercise you choose is all about personal preference. I have found that doing some yoga every morning before starting my daily routine improves my mood for the rest of the day by 100%.

4. Make a daily To-Do list.

And don't forget to reward yourself! Anxiety has a strange way of making you put off important things, even though you logically know that these things need to get done. I had been putting off things like homework, laundry, and making appointments (talking on the phone makes me extremely anxious. I hate it!) But, having a seemingly never-ending to-do list of important things also creates more anxiety. I started rewarding myself- I wouldn't watch another episode of Bob's Burgers until I made a doctors appointment. It seems simple, but sometimes a little self-restraint is all you need.

5. Say no.

This is something that is very hard for me. I am a people-pleaser. If someone asks for a favor, I usually just say yes because I like helping people out. But something that I need to remember is that it's ok to say no sometimes. Especially if you really don't want to do something, but just feel bad about saying no. Also, it's important to remember that you don't always need to give an explanation- 'no' can be a complete sentence.

6. Don't forget about your friends & family.

When you're depressed, it can be really tempting to totally isolate yourself. Sometimes I just didn't have the energy to interact with people, or I didn't want the people I loved to see me in such a depressed state. There were times where the only person I would hang out with over the course of a week was with my boyfriend, because I knew he would love and accept me no matter what mood I was in. However, I know my friends and family would do the same thing- I know they care about me, and still love me even when I'm feeling anxious to the point of vomiting. Just remember that although depression can make it seem like you're alone, you're usually not!

7. Know your tendencies.

This is an important step in recovering from any mental illness. Knowing the things that set you off and how you typically react to these events is the first step in discovering possible coping techniques. For example, I previously mentioned that talking on the phone/making appointments can make me extremely anxious. But obviously this is something that I can't avoid, so I try and cope as best I can. If you know your personality traits and how you might react to stress, it can be much easier to handle the stress when it comes!

8. Put things in perspective.

This is another thing that can be hard. When stress starts building up and depression starts to hit, you can feel helpless. When I get depressed or anxious, all I can think about are my worries about school, homework, friends, etc. I get stuck in my own head. It can be helpful to remember that there is a big huge world out there that is not entirely focused on you- and I don't mean that in a bad way! It might seem like your problems are huge, when in reality, they are only small worries.

9. Let go of the notion of "feeling happy"

For years, my number one goal was to just "be happy." I think it's because happiness is something stressed so heavily in our society. When you feel anything less than content, it can feel like something is wrong. As humans, we weren't' built to be happy all the time. It's totally normal to feel angry, sad, or nervous, it can even be good for you. What would you learn if you were happy all the time?

10. Know when to get help.

With all this being said, do not be afraid to reach out! I know that it can be awkward, and even panic-inducing at times, but suffering in silence is even worse. Start small by talking to a close friend or family member. If you're still feeling down and have a feeling that it is something more, don't be afraid to seek medical help. When I first started feeling depressed, I made an appointment with my general care doctor and talked to him about it. This way, you can get detailed information tailored to you and your specific concerns- my general care doctor helped refer me to a psychiatrist and we worked together to decide on a medication that worked for me.

These are the things that have helped me through the last few months. I hope this helped at least a few people! Honestly, just making this list was a very therapeutic thing for me. I hope to be blogging way more often around here! :) Have a lovely day ♥

Winter to-do list

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Now, I'm going to admit something...I hate winter. I would much rather be frolicking around with no shoes on and laying out in the sun. However, since we've got a ways to go until that will be possible again, I've decided to embrace winter and make a fun little list of wintery things that I want to do during the next few months.

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1. Go sledding. I've actually already done this once already this winter, but I definitely want to go again! We've got an awesome hill in my town for sledding, and plus it's also a forest preserve, so you can go exploring in the woods as well!

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2. Movie marathon. Although I wish I was having an LOTR extended edition marathon, I suppose any movie series will do. What better way to spend a cold, snowy day than wrapped up in blankets watching netflix?

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3. Bake. I have another confession to make: I am awful at cooking/baking. Like, laughably awful. However, I'd like to try and bring out my domestic side and try and bake a bit more. Plus, that just means more cookies and cupcakes for me to eat!

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4. Build a blanket fort. To snuggle in, of course.

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5. Curl up with a book. I want to read a lot more books this year. As of right now, I'm re-reading the Harry Potter Series, but I have a huge list of must-read books that I want to check out as well!

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6. Go to a museum. There are so many museums in Chicago I've never seen, and I think this winter would be the perfect time to visit! Plus, I believe many of them are having free admission weekends for the next few weeks, so I may need to take advantage.

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7. Go thrifting for sweaters. Nothing is better than a big, comfy sweater in the winter. Except for finding that big, comfy sweater for only a few bucks at the thrift store!

Well, those are my plans for this winter! Do you have anything on your 'winter to-do list'?

Fall 2013 Bucket List!

How that it's officially fall, I decided to make a little bucket list! Yeah, you might be bored seeing basically every blogger going nuts over fall, but I mean come on, it's clearly the best season. Obviously.
Anyway, I hope you have a lovely hump day :)

2013 Summer Bucket List

So excited for this summer! What's on your to-do list?

Finals Week Survival Tips

So...finals week is approaching! If your a stressed out college or high school student (or have ever been one) you know the horrors of finals week (example: the above picture is me drinking coffee at approximately 11pm). Anyways, I'm going to share a few tips that have been keeping me sane, I hope they may be helpful to you as well :)

Find a way of studying that works for you. Just because your friend or boyfriend studies a certain way, doesn't mean you have to do the same. Re-reading or re-writing my notes over and over again DOES NOT work for me. I always find my mind wandering. If something like that does work for you, great, keep on doing it. I've found that I like flash cards. And I ~~force~~ politely ask Skylar to help me study, so that makes it a little more personal and memorable.
Make a to-do list. It can be as simple as "write 2 paragraphs for paper, study chapters 3&4 for biology, call doctor to make an appointment, pick up coffee from grocery store." Even write down little things you think you may forget! It's very helpful to make a smaller, more specific list every day, than one big list for the week. Much more manageable!
Get out of your apartment/bedroom/dorm room every once and a while! Sometimes the best way to take a break is to just to take a walk and get some fresh air. You can even take your laptop or textbooks outside (weather permitting) and get some work done outside! A change of scenery can be extremely helpful.
Remember to eat! Don't get distracted by hunger! Pack filling snacks like a granola bar, a banana, or nuts to get you through study sessions. And remember to eat protein-filled meals during the day!
Feeling Stressed? Take deep breaths. I don't know about any of you, but I can get some extreme anxiety when I have a lot of stuff to get done. What helps me relax is deep breathing. Take the slowest, biggest breath you can. Hold it in your chest (not your stomach) until you cant stand it anymore, and let it out. It will relax the shit out of you.
Remember: everything will be okay! If you don't do as well as you hoped, just remember it's not the end of the world! It's okay if your GPA isn't perfect, or if you need to re-take a class. In the long-run, things like this really don't matter! Just learn from your mistakes and reward yourself for your accomplishments! Go out to dinner or do some shopping :)

I hope these tips helped a little! I have study guides to work on and some outfit photos to edit, so I should be off!
Happy Wednesday!

Happy Spring!

Spring is finally here! Well, it sure doesn't feel like it, but if the calendar says so, I say "mother nature, get your ass into gear!" And what better time than Spring to make some goals and get motivated? Here's a little list of spring goals I want to accomplish.

Plant some seeds (and don't let them die!). I always love having live plants around the house, but I will admit, I am terrible at keeping them alive. I don't know what I will do if I ever have children.
Start doing more artistic photography. I did a lot of artistic photography in high school, it's one of the main things I was known for. I would love to get back into that, in addition to my regular blogging photos!

Start jogging outdoors. I love jogging outside rather than in the gym on a treadmill.
Take more pictures of daily life. This also includes carrying my camera with me more! I love looking back through old photos and remembering the little things I would have otherwise forgotten.

Put more effort into getting dressed. I love leaving the house feeling confident and cute. Whenever I'm feeling tired, I just throw on a t-shirt and jeans, which is okay sometimes, but I also like feeling a little put together! That doesn't mean I have to dress up every day, I just want to wear something that makes me feel good :)
Have more fun! I'm probably the most stressed person alive, and I just want to actively try and be in a better mood more often. I want to enjoy life!

I'm hoping spring will hurry itself up so I am a little more motivated to put these goals into action!

Have a lovely Tuesday :)

*All images in this post are ©Brooke Gehringer. You can find more here.

Friday Finds v.5

Things I've Said to My Children - Leprechaun (16x20)

Nathan Ripperger

This father illustrates weird things he's said to his children. I could hardly pick a favorite, so you should go look at them all. It's a hoot :)

Peggy Skemp Jewelry

I need this locket in my life. It opens up to show all of the valves and arteries of an atomically correct heart. So cool.

Youtube

As you may or may not know, I was in Choir all four years of high school, so I am a sucker for cool acapella arrangements of songs. Here is a Dutch choir singing an acapella version of Bangarang by Skrillex. Seriously, awesome.

Philippa Rice

I love these comics by Philippa Rice, they are so freakin cute! This series is called 'Soppy,' it's my favorite.

Mai Ly Illustration

How cute is this match-box self portrait? The matches as legs- so adorable!

I don't know about you, but I am so thankful that it's Friday! Have a lovely day :)

In My Bag

I don't know if these kind of posts are cool anymore, but I don't really care. Here's what I always carry with me in my purse :)

From top to bottom, left to right:
- My ITS (Information Technology Services) name tag for working in the computer labs.
-Wallet (from Claire's)
-Ballet Slippers. This is mostly because I am always scared that I'm going to forget them when I go to ballet class, so I just leave them in my bag all the time.
-Coupon/grocery list holder. Yes, I carry coupons with me everywhere. Poor college students, represent!
-Weekly planner.
-iPhone.
-Baby Lips lip balm. I swear by this stuff.
-Coupon for local Rocky Horror Picture Show showing. A local theatre does a showing every month, it's so fun. Have any of you been to a showing with a shadow cast?
-ID tag for my job at the Convocation Center, where I set up events like basketball games and concerts.
-My favorite sunglasses ever.
-A pill organizer, because I am an old lady.

I hope you are all having a happy Tuesday! If you're getting hit by snow like I am, stay safe!

♥Brooke

Room Inspiration

Even though I've definitely got a few months until this semester is over, I am currently day-dreaming about when I get to move back home! As a 19-year old college student, I feel like I shouldn't be this excited about moving back in with my parents for a relatively permanent amount of time, but I really am. I'll be saving so much money, and I'll be able to re-connect with all of my Genoa friends! Anyways, I've decided that since I'll be moving back, I want to re-decorate my bedroom. It's not that it looks ugly or anything, it just reminds me of high school so much. I want to change it to reflect this new chapter in my life. I want to get out of the past!

Here's what it looked like while I was a senior in high school. Also, notice the intense mane I got goin' on.

My tentative plan is to clear everything out and start painting over spring break, so when I am done for the semester, I can just move all of my stuff in without dealing with anything that's already in there. I've already got some paint colors and such in mind, but here's some images that I've been inspired by!

repurposed old desk turned into vanity.. another fabolous GoodWill find

Hello Newman's

This is the first DIY project that popped into my head when I decided to re-decorate. I got a desk from my grandma (that she actually built herself in her high school shop class back in the 50s...so cool!) for my apartment, and I would love to get a big mirror to prop on top of it and make a makeshift vanity!

Apartment Therapy

I've been intrigued by the idea of using a window as a "headboard" of sorts. I feel like, throughout the years, I've basically re-arranged my room every single way possible, except for in this fashion. For some reason, I just thought you weren't supposed to put a bed up against a window. Well, maybe you aren't because of feng shui or something, but oh well. This is definitely a contender for bed placement.

Design Seeds

This is what I'm thinking color-scheme wise, a combination of these palates. That bright blue color my room is painted now is pretty, but so loud. I want to be able to relax! I might paint the walls more of a light grey-ish purple, which isn't really shown on either of these.

The rest of the images are just random inspirations :)

BHG // Jillian Harris // Source unknown

Happy Monday! ♥

125 things that make me happy

Flowers
Old movies
Looking at old baby pictures
Smells that remind you of your childhood
A good cuddle
Goodnight kisses (even if it's from your dog)
A hot shower after a long day
A great book
Rain
The first signs of the leaves changing color
Stretching when you first wake up
Clothes right out of the dryer
Eating out with family
Knowing there's someone there for you always, even if it's just your mom. Some people don't even have that.
Laughing until you're laugh turns silent
Cappuccino
Strawberries
The smell of freshly cut grass in the summer
Big windows
The first snowfall
A candle-lit room
Waking up on your birthday
Feeling creative
Cold water on a hot day
Loving the outfit you put together
Your hair just after it's been dyed
Felt-tip pens
Scented candles
Playing 'guess the song' with my dad and brother
Being naked
Performing on stage
Rain on a car window
Road trips
Strawberries (I accidentally wrote this twice...that's how much I love strawberries :))
Being barefoot
Seeing the sunset while you drive home
New shoes
Warm socks
Putting your hair up at the end of the day
Stargazing
Slow dancing to no music
Smooth legs
Venting to friends
Eating cake mix before you bake the cake
Your mom cooking you food
A full tank of gas
Talking on the phone until you're too tired to keep your eyes open
Getting tucked in by someone you love
Smiley faces :)
Friendship bracelets
Crawling back into your bed after going to the bathroom in the morning
Cheesy garlic biscuits from Red Lobster
Waking up at noon
Scarves
Pumpkin patches
Apple cider doughnuts
Visiting the city
Leaves budding after winter
Thanksgiving
Parades
Christmas morning
Listening to your favorite music
Driving aimlessly
Riding your bike on a sunny day
Looking back on your old wishes and goals to find out that some of them came true
Curly hair
Flip flops
Inspirational quotes
Cute babies
The smell of your dad's aftershave
Sports bras
Taking a bath
Being walked to your door
Someone being excited to see you
Finding old notes you wrote
Finding old clothes that still fit
Thrift stores
Combing out wet hair
Sweat pants
Wishing on a star
Lazy days
Marathons of your favorite show
Feeling happy with your body!
The first warm day after winter
Having parents who love you
The christmas season
Cats
Love notes
Having a place to call home
Photos on film
Eating a meal and reading the newspaper
Finding/making the perfect gift for someone
Getting flowers
Wishing on 11:11
Not being sick
Feeling inspired
Blank books waiting to be filled
Watercolors
Lists
Pretty jewelry
Dancing
Singing in the car by yourself
Sweets
Nutella
Vintage dresses
Finding something that you love on sale
Anniversaries
Getting something in the mail
Cozy, rainy days when you have no plans
Sleepovers
Dogs
Watching a movie you know all the dialogue to
Summer break
Wearing pajamas all day long
Pretty nailpolish
Nice strangers
Sweaters
When you get to eat something you've been craving
When you write something in really nice handwriting
Lockets
Foot massages
Taking notes with a nice pen
Bread and butter
Good morning calls/texts
Good night calls/texts

I made a "happiness journal" after being diagnosed with depression, these are the things that I have written so far. Sometimes you have to remember the good things to put the rest in perspective.